Yikes, it’s been nearly a month since I posted. I guess life has just gotten kind of chaotic. Summer break started, Tre had some problems with neighborhood kids, we have four rapidly growing mastiff puppies, I graduated, and well my health and spirits haven’t been so great. We opted to resolve our son’s conflicts by getting a pool in the backyard so that he has something that he enjoys doing at home. If someone wants to play with him, they can come here to play. After keeping him home for a few days, he has learned to walk away from the little squabbles, and to not take sides. If he sees kids doing something out of line, he comes home now, maybe it was a valuable lesson after all. It’s hard because he is a kid that lives for excitement, jumping his bike, tricks on his skateboard, racing the neighbor kids… so when he can’t go play out front (because of the other kids), it’s like clipping the wings of a bird that longs to fly. So I am praying that the money we pulled out of savings for a pool will somehow remedy the problem a bit. I suspect, with his excitement and anticipation, it will.
I have since my last appointment gone for my brain MRI, that was an experience! I’m glad it’s done, I’ll say that! I also went in and had 10 vials of blood drawn. The phlebotomist said they were all different tests for lupus. As it gets hotter outside, I feel less and less energy. The other day, my right side literally gave out, and I found myself sliding down the wall. I sat on the floor for a few minutes trying to figure out what the heck had happened, and then how I was going to get back up. So obviously, I don’t wander far from home. I never can anticipate or predict when something is going to happen. I have had a few good days, days I’m not as tired or weak, but it seems those are more painful days too.
I have been carrying around a mountain of guilt for what I’m putting my poor husband through. I try really hard to do things like put away some laundry, empty the dishwasher, things like that but after doing the basics I’m so exhausted. That leaves him sweeping, mopping, laundry washing, kitchen cleaning, and while it may seem kind of appealing, I feel horrible. Not only am I home all day, I can hardly keep the house cleaned up after the kids. For some reason he is being incredibly kind about it, maybe because I keep tearing up and telling him how sorry I am. I appreciate him so much though, that is for sure. I know that no matter what happens, he will be there for me.
This coming school year, Dominic is starting Kindergarten and I just can’t believe it. My baby is going to school. He is so excited about it too! He has been practicing with me and can read words that follow the basic phonetic rules; cat, dog, bat, rat, can, etc. He is writing his name, counting almost to 100 now, and is practicing adding, though he says “what is equals four and two” but he is getting the idea. Tre will be going into third grade and I’m not quite sure how that happened, time seemed to escape me. How do I possibly have a son who will be turning nine this year?
My garden is doing amazing this year. We have zucchini, crooknecks, cucumbers, watermelon, cantaloupe, tomatoes, strawberries, and things I’m sure I am forgetting, plus lots of flowers. I love this time of year! I had some tomato plants randomly pop up in the garden, from the plant I had last year. They are healthy and thriving, I thought it was pretty neat.
Our backyard is being transformed for the pool. We now have it split into three parts- one for the dogs, one for the pool, and then the patio area- we have it set up so the dogs can be everywhere except in the pool area at night, so we have our security in place! The puppies are growing so fast! They are starting to be mischievous in their constant curiosity and playfulness. They are cute, most of the time! With the yard set up they get some outside time, when it’s not the hot part of the day.
I think that about sums it up. I should have my results in eight more days. I am eager for answers but a little terrified as well. But whatever happens, I will get through it.
