If you noticed, I didn't post much through summer. Those of you in my shoes, probably understand why! It was a long summer and some things changed. At the end of summer (and I mean very last minute) Tre decided he wanted to return to public school. This was about two weeks before school started. So we had a wave of ups and downs. He had anxiety but he was excited. There were lots of mixed emotions and he was a little hard to handle during that period of time. We even sat him down and explained that we wanted it to be his decision and we would support him- and he decided public school was what he wanted to do.
At first I was relieved, I thought of all of the things I could do with my spare time. Both kids in school from 7:40-2? WooHoo! Then reality came around and laughed in my face! We made sure we had the right clothes, cool new shoes, the perfect backpack, and earrings (yes Tre is a cool guy now with his ears pierced), I learned how to shave stripes into the sides of his head, next to his Mohawk... Yes we give him some flexibility in those things because there is really so little he has control over.
So, day one to school started out strong. We were all excited. We were all positive. We left early, we went to the school, and all was going great... Then we saw the front gate, and panic set in. I saw it all over his face, so I was his cheerleader, "You are going to do great, you're going to be fine! You're going to see your friends, and have fun at recess!" Even added in there "You get a break from me!" Then the tears started. I kind of had to pretend it wasn't happening at that point. I was on my own.
So we walked a very excited Dominic to his line number- to wait for his new first grade teacher. I then attempted to walk Tre to his line. That wasn't happening. He crumbled. He fell to the ground (literally). People gawked and stared. It was incredibly uncomfortable. He has done this in Walmart before but not at the school. I didn't care what people thought of me, I just worried that kids would make fun of him. Everyone went to class and there I stood, next to my son- the puddle on the ground.
The principal attempted to come and talk, and if anyone touched him, he'd yank away. He was rapidly going downhill on a meltdown train! It seemed like it was the worst possible scenario. That is until a little gleam of hope came through the grounds, in the form of a man from the district that oversees the Special Ed Department. He happened to be on our campus that morning, and he saw what was going on.
Though none of his efforts were really effective in getting Tre to class, he at least was able to see it. Last year my IEP request was kind of swept under the rug and I struggled to get him to school, to get him to stay, etc. The school this year has more special ed programs, so that meant we could get some more help too!
The first week of school I spent sitting in a forth grade classroom. My 1st grader rapidly grew sad because I'd never seen him go to class, or even seen his classroom. By week two Tre was the big brother who walked his little brother (who was now crying each morning) to class. Tre just took on the helping role and did so beautifully.
So far we have had our RTI meeting and other than a few hiccups, we are making good progress. The school has an amazing school psychologist this year and she has been immensely helpful. I won't say it's all been perfect but it's a much better scenario than we had last year. I think a great deal of it also has to do with having a great teacher this year.
My son's teacher has gone over and beyond to help us. At our RTI meeting he looked at my husband and I and said "I work for you, so if I can help you in ANY WAY, please let me know. I've been in that seat asking for help, I know how hard it is!" Which brought us all a lot of peace. "He gets it!"
Tre's first progress report came home. He isn't doing great. He is below basic in many subjects, but he keeps trying. We do have an incredible struggle with homework, and that is something I'd like to work on modifying more with his IEP. Otherwise, he isn't calling me every day or every other day to ask me to come get him. He is doing very well, in that respect. The school is doing more tests and assessments so we can find more tools to help him in the areas he is struggling.
Most recently, we opted to go Gluten-Free. We spoke with him about it for a while and he agreed that it was worth a shot. He hasn't had gluten in 5 days, he is doing incredibly well. I am seeing a calmer and more reserved version of my child. I hope this is not the honeymoon phase but I see hope, I feel calmer, and like I can relax a little bit. Sometimes it feels like I am in this mode of waiting for the other foot to drop. Those of us who have lived with a child that rages or has meltdowns, often end up with PTSD, it's hard to live in a war zone at times.
Months ago we cut red dye out of his diet and that made a profound difference as well. About a week and a half ago, it dawned on me that one of his medications was pink. I spoke with the pharmacist and just told her he is allergic to red dye. She managed to get the insurance company to approve the blue pills. This means I also don't have to cut 1 pill in half for him (he would take 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 at night), now he gets 1 pill in the morning and 1 at night. His doses are more accurate now, which is a good thing. It's hard to cut a pill exactly in half, even with a pill cutter!
Now that things are calmer and we are into a school routine, I hope to start posting more. I appreciate those of you that are reading our story. I'm not doing this for attention or pity. I write because I want to share my story. I want others to feel less alone, I want to share the things I find that help in case in some way they might help someone else.
Hope you all had a great summer, looking forward to catching up!
