This is my first blog post, so I just want to really introduce myself. My name is Danielle, I am the mother of 2 little boys, I have a wonderful husband, and I currently am a stay at home mom. I recently completed my Bachelor’s in Human Services. What is next for me is still unclear. My oldest son was diagnosed with Early Onset Bipolar Disorder over a year ago. Life has been filled with ups and downs, frustrations, inspirations, and sometimes just hurt. This is something I will share a lot about; I wish more people would share their stories. So many people have opinions about mood disorders in children, medication for children, and even whether bipolar even exists in children. I have seen the face of bipolar, I have lived with bipolar, I believe in bipolar. Those skeptics out there, I respect, but I offer you my shoes… walk in them a week and then tell me what you think.
Just before my 28th birthday, I went shopping with my youngest son and could barely write my name. That’s how it started, filling out a customer information card at a store. Then I started having weird pains in my head, numbness, nerve pain, bruising, loss of control of limbs… after multiple tests the doctor says he believes I have lupus or secondary lupus. I have a month until I see the specialist for more tests and more information. I spent about two weeks in bed, fevers, exhaustion, skin crawling, fun stuff. The doctor prescribed steroids for five days and I was finally able to get out of bed. All of this has changed so much for me. I have gone through grieving, doubt, anger… but I’m not going to let it win. I am going to try everything I can to stay healthy. I’m eating healthier, I’m researching, and I’m ready to see what the specialist has to say! Through it all I’ve realized just how wonderful my husband is and how important I really am to him. I’ve had to stop wanting things done my way and accept that other people can do things right too!
Every day I ask myself:
1) How much energy do I have today? (Even when it feels like a good amount, it can be gone in the blink of an eye!)
2) What is the most important thing I have to do today? (After getting my son to and from school)
3) What is not important to do today? (In case I just can’t do anymore)
4) Did you tell your husband and kids how much you love and appreciate them?
5) Have I done something for myself? (Some days this is just making the bed so it’s more comfortable to relax and watch a movie!)
When I open my eyes each morning I tell myself “I can”, and even if it’s not much, I still can do something. See if I wake up thinking “I can’t do this…” then I debilitate myself. I’m not saying that I can magically make my disease go away but I believe that telling myself “I can” makes all the difference in the world.
I won’t discuss politics. I’m not incredibly crafty. I enjoy gardening and photography. I might discuss a good book or movie, poetry, or inspirational phrases. I will probably discuss information on bipolar or lupus, or even a favorite recipe. Ultimately I’m just a mom and a wife, rolling with the punches.
You are one of the strongest women I know. Your strength never ceases to amaze me. You have accomplished so much with obstacles at your door everyday. So much more than most people would dare to attempt and I am so proud of you.
ReplyDeleteLife has dealt you more challenges than most people but with each of them you manage to meet them head on and achieve the goals you have set for yourself. You are truely and inspiration and this blog is a good thing. You have a lot of knowledge and experience that I am sure will be of a huge help to others.
Love you!!
This was such a fantastic first post! Thank you for bringing us along in your journey so that we can soak up some of that strength that I don't think you realize just how much you ooze!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteDanielle--
ReplyDeleteI did not realize that either of you had received official diagnoses... Your strength in dealing with these situations is so admirable! And I love your idea of waking up and saying "I can" - if you don't mind, I think I'm going to adopt that policy. :-)
You are amazing and inspirational! Hold your head high and keep smiling that beautiful smile!
--Caitlin
Caitlin- Tre's diagnosis is official. Mine is definitely an inflammatory disease, the doctor was convinced it is lupus or secondary lupus, but I'll know more for sure after seeing the specialist (and more tests are run) next month. Thanks for reading, and by all means I'd love if you adopted the policy!
ReplyDeleteWhat were the initial signs of bi-polar in Tre? Behaviors and such.
ReplyDeleteThank you Josie for your comments! I wrote another post explaining the path that lead us to realize Tre had bipolar disorder. It was a little too much for a comment :)
ReplyDeleteHey Danielle! Sarah from TBMF here. Interestingly enough, I have an autoimmune disease that the doc thought was lupus too. Eventually I was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis and I totally get what it feels like the be the mom with literally NO energy and have to depend on her husband for everything. It's tough! I hope that you're feeling some relief right now. Was it ever officially diagnosed as lupus? Do you watch House?
ReplyDeleteI was FINALLY diagnosed with Sjogren's, Antiphospholipid disorder, and arthritis. I am better today than I was back in April when I had my first symptoms! The doctor believes that a blood clot passing through my brain caused me to have stroke like symptoms (TIA), it's warning for a stroke and has similar symptoms without the lasting damage. For months I couldn't lift my right leg off the ground, but today I can, but not 100%. My energy level is the worst part, and I get sick a lot. Except I'll be in bed for a few days before I realize that I'm getting sick. I'm always terrified I'm going to have a full on flare up. I have a lot of naps when I can... or just lay down for a while when I can. Though some days that just isn't happening! I do watch House though I haven't gotten to see all of the episodes.
DeleteI'm really glad you foudn my blog!! What are the synptoms of ankylosing spondylitis? I have read a study from Holland, I believe that linked autoimmune moms with children with autism. It made me wonder about mood disorders.