It's okay to do something you're not good at!

So today’s T-Ball game was rained out.  I think we were all a little relived. We’ve been running around so much lately, it’s nice to spend a rainy day cooped up in the house. 

There is a topic I’ve been chewing on a little bit.  I have been trying to find the right way to explain it.  See Dominic is good at everything.  He really is.  He reads well, he learns quickly, he is a computer whiz, he beats all of his electronic games.  He has great behavior in school, lots of friends, he isn’t shy… he really just is incredibly well rounded.  Then we got to T-Ball, and well he just has a lot to learn.

I sat talking with a mom at our first game and she said that she was going to be taking her son to the park to practice more. It seems like some of these kids have been spoon fed T-Ball since infancy.  Seriously, they’re like mini-pros!   Then there are the kids that are inexperienced, like Dominic.  I told the other mom that I’m glad Dominic is not a natural at T-Ball, I’m glad he has to work for it, and I’m glad to see him have to work towards improving himself.  Why? Because I think it might give him a little more compassion for his brother. 

See lots of things are hard for Tre.  There are many things he is very good at; origami, skateboarding, riding a scooter, etc.  But there are many things that are very hard for him too.  I think this experience of not being naturally good at T-Ball is an opportunity for me to help him understand his brother more, like why Tre doesn’t read so well.

I mean, yes, I want my child to succeed at everything he tries.  It tickles me when I hear that he is doing very well at things.  But deep inside of my heart, I feel like every child should experience a struggle.  I think that parents push their kids towards things they are good at.  I think it is equally important to encourage them to keep trying when there are things they aren’t naturally good at.  Art, music, sports, and things like being social. 

I’m not saying force them to do things they don’t want to do.  I really don’t agree with that.  But we should encourage them to keep trying, even if it is hard.  When I was a little girl, I remember wanting to play softball, so bad!  I practiced and practiced.  Right before try outs, my dad told me that I wasn’t good enough to make the team, I should save myself the disappointment, and not try.  So I didn’t try. I decided at 10 that I wouldn’t be athletic, that it wasn’t my thing. I wish he had encouraged me to at least try.  Ultimately, even if I hadn’t made the team, it’s okay!  It’s okay to learn from those experiences too!  Instead I never knew if I could’ve been good enough, and though I’ve gotten over it, as an adult I vow to not stand in the way of what my children want to do, as long as it is reasonable. 

So, even if Dominic really struggles with T-Ball, it is going to teach him (I hope) to understand what it feels like not to be ahead.  Yes, we are practicing, yes we would like for him to do well, and at the T-Ball level, he is having a blast, which is what matters most.  Though I’m not staying up at night worrying about if he runs to third base instead of first, or to the dug out instead of home plate!   He is learning to be a team player, he is learning that he has to practice, and he is learning that it isn’t always about being good at things but about having fun!