Some changes for mommy?

So as if there isn’t a lot already going on…  I have been met with a challenge, I guess you could say.  See back a few months ago, while Tre was still in school, I sent in an application for a position as a tutor.  The job seemed appealing, decent pay, flexible hours, etc. It was right up my alley; working with kids, being able to work around my kids was a huge plus!  Well months went by and I had put the thought out of my mind. Balancing T-Ball, home school, martial arts practice, and well life, has kept me VERY busy as of late. 

Well yesterday, out of the blue, I have a message on my phone.  I listen and it’s a callback on my application.  The man on the other end of the recording is explaining how they have reviewed my application and would like to speak with me more.  My mind starts with excitement, THEY WANT ME!  Then enters questioning and doubt.  What about Tre?  His separation anxiety has been really bad.  What about my illness? I’m so tired already; can I possibly take on something else? Then I feel frustration because this is an opportunity I’d like to jump on… what to do? What to do?

So about an hour later, while I’m still bouncing from “good idea” to “horrible idea” in my mind, the phone rings and it’s them again!  So I answer this time, deciding asking some questions would be best.  The guy was excited to catch me and explained more to me.  I have to work 8+ hours a week, that’s it, and the pay is decent. I mean we live on what we make now, so if I had even a little extra coming in, we could save towards a house.  The guy said I can set my own hours…  Wow, I’m getting more excited!

So I spoke with Richard and we agreed that it can’t hurt to try. We’ll be no worse off it I try and it just doesn’t work out.  And hey, it might be good for me to get out of the house, alone, once in a while too!  Now I just have to learn to trust people a little bit. See I can get Dominic home from school, but I’ll have to ask for help watching them between bringing him home, and getting back from my appointments.  I guess that was one of those things looming in the doubting side of my mind. 

It’s hard because I went to college, so I could do something with myself.  While I justify that my education has helped me become better prepared to help Tre, I still sometimes regret not being able to do more with it.  I love being home, don’t get me wrong. I want to be at practices and games, I want to help with homework, and fix booboos.  I want to be the one who wakes my kids up in the morning and the one who tucks them in.  I had to spend a few years missing out on things and I really didn’t want to have to do that again.  But sometimes it’s nice to have an identity outside of being mom.

So, I think we’ve decided that we’re going to give it a go.  I explained to Tre that this is how mommy can help to save money towards a down payment on a house, so we can move into a nicer neighborhood…  we have goals of more property so we can get a quad, and we can have chickens, and a trampoline and a swing set and he loves all of these things.  So when I say that this could help it happen faster, he gets excited. 

On the bright side, summer break is just around the corner.  I can always pick up a few extra hours, since I am not worrying about lesson plans, or making sure Tre has all his schoolwork done.  It will also help me set the pace and figure out what I’m doing!

I don’t’ have the job officially, I still have to do an assessment and background check, but I’m not really worried about those things.  It’s just a matter of figuring out if it is actually possible to do the job.  I guess it’s time to practice what I preach and just try…