We can't forget Dominic, though he is sometimes overlooked...

All too often in life we overlook the things that are easy.  The things that don’t take a lot of effort, we just make part of our routine without casting too much reflection.  In some ways, I have to sadly confess I do this with Dominic.  He is such a smart, sweet, and understanding boy.  That all too often, I think I kind of take it for granted.  I take time every day to tell him how wonderful he is and how much I love and appreciate him. Yet I realized in my blog I haven’t told you much about him.  So here it is.

I often wonder how two children raised by the same parents, growing up the same way, can be so different.  My boys are like night and day; Dominic is patient, loves reading, video games, and playing pretend.  Tre is fly by the seat of his pants, he has incredible focus with martial arts, he loves action; skateboarding, his scooter, jumping his bicycle, and he is a very literal person.  I remember when Tre’s pet guinea pig died he was only four. I thought he would fall apart, but he soberly looked at me, he nodded and said “it’s okay mom, everything dies!”  Shockingly, this was his same response at six when one of my grandmothers passed away and the year later when my other grandma died.  He seems aloof to death, unless I mention the fact that one day I will no longer be here. 

Dominic is my softy.  If I speak too firmly, which I tend to after a long day with Tre, he will cry.  I end up sitting on the floor, scooping him in my lap, and talking to him.  I rub his back and apologize.  I guess we all suffer from PTSD a little around here.

Dominic has a knight in shining armor complex which can be sweet and dangerous.  The sweet side is that little man knows just what to say to make me smile. He tells me “I love you in the whole wide world” which is his response to me saying “I love you to the moon in back”, I’m not 100% sure what he means but I know he means it from the depths of his heart, and it makes me smile.  Dominic also tries to slay the dangerous Tre dragon in the midst of a meltdown when Tre lashes out calling me “Stupid” or tells me he hates me. Not just once have I caught him charging out of the corner of my eye, only to tackle his brother.  It’s no small feat for a five year old to take down a seething nine year old mid-meltdown.  It also doesn’t help fix anything but his efforts are valiant. 

I had Dominic’s conference with his Kindergarten teacher today after school.  She said he is just wonderful. She said he just seems to know what to say. She wants to start writing down the sweet things he says, because somehow he just says them at the right time. She said he is like this not just with her, but with his classmates as well. He is encouraging and kind when they don’t understand something.   I mean his grades are great, he’s doing fantastic, but to know I’m raising such a compassionate, empathetic young man, means the world to me.  

I worry sometimes that he will carry the scars, not physical ones, but those left by a brother who can’t bite his tongue.  I worry sometimes he will learn behaviors that are not appropriate.  I am grateful for being able to rely on him. Every time Tre starts to fall apart, I ask him “can you please go play in your room?”  And he waits for the storm to pass, before he even attempts to come back out.  He is wise beyond his years, and he makes my life easier.  He has a right to act out, no one would blame him for talking poorly of his brother, or lashing out that things “aren’t fair”, but he doesn’t.  So, what does he do?

He is the clown of the family.  He is always making little jokes, he is quite funny.  He thinks a raspberry is the answer to a question he doesn’t know how to answer (once again pretty funny), he likes to stand at t ball practice and admire the way the moon is out in the blue sky.  He corrects me and tells me “it may be a falcon” when I say I see a hawk flying overhead.  He does his homework without being asked to, and then asks if he can do more!  He likes to think of others.  He makes me feel like I must be doing something right. 

I love both of my boys, so very much.  Tre even on his worst day, is one of the best things that ever happened to me.  And Dominic, he is the other.  My world quite literally revolves around these two little boys.  My hope for their future is that they can find a way to stay close.  Dominic always tells Tre “when we grow up, you can live at my house Tre, okay?” and I hope that if need be, it works out that way.  Just this morning, as I was getting ready, I heard Dominic ask Tre to read him a book.  Dominic is almost four years younger than Tre.  I sat and listened while he helped Tre with the words he didn’t know, so Tre could read him the story.  Those were some happy tears.

I just hope that they can continue to find reasons to relate to one another.  The love they share is really special. They fight a lot, but I think that’s a typical sibling thing.  I am just amazed at the resilience this little person has, and how big his heart is.  Maybe having a brother like Tre has helped shape him into a loving and forgiving person.  I sure hope so.